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Doctor recommended for optimal cerebral hygiene 

Kerry Concession Speech

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

My fellow Americans, a little while ago I called President Bush and congratulated him on his victory. And now, my fellow Americans, it is with mixed emotions that I announce that, very soon, I will no longer be able to refer to you as "my fellow Americans".

You see, until I ran for president and had it pointed out to me and the rest of the world that I "look French", that I speak French, have French relatives, and, like the French, voiced opposition to the way the war in Iraq was pursued, I never put much thought into my French heritage. I've been a proud American my whole life, risked my life many times in Vietnam serving my country. Yet, could it be that I went to Vietnam for different reasons? Could it have anything to do with the fact that Vietnam had been a French colony for many years before the communists came to power? I'm not sure myself. I'm still sorting this all out.

However, in the meantime, I have concluded that I have discovered a deep longing for the homeland of my ancestors, and Teresa and I will be moving to France within the next year. (sighs and gentle protestations from the crowd) We've been talking about this for a few months now, and we were only waiting for the election results to confirm our growing suspicions that we will be more welcome in France than we are here. (sighs) Besides, we love French bread, wine, cheese, the Champs Elysee, the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre...heck, Americans like to call Parisians arrogant snobs, but come on! In a city that cool they have a right to feel superior!

I'd like to thank everyone who supported my campaign. God bless you, and Viva La France!