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Doctor recommended for optimal cerebral hygiene 

hair raid

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

according to the sacramento bee and our friends at clairol, brunettes are big. and by that i mean women are increasingly down with brown.

and by that i mean “bah.”

not that i have anything against brunettes. or blondes, for that matter. let’s face it, i love women of all stripes. but there can be no argument: redheads rule.

i know this, in part, because my wife and daughter are redheads. but that’s a digression.

the real reason there are so many artificial blondes and brunettes in the world is that no one has come up with a decent-looking red hair color. think about it: when have you ever seen an authentic looking red hair-color job? over the years you’ve seen naught but an array of bad examples; red dye jobs that are so ludicrous and awful that women don’t even seem to try any more. they go extreme red, or statement red, or i’m-too-dumb-to-know-any-better red. but never, “damn, that can’t be anything but your natural color” red.

i know this, in part, because i worked in the health and beauty business for several years. i’ve made a point to keep tabs on whether there have been any advances in red hair technology. i have a vested interest in the advancement of red-headedness. i love redheads.

julianne moore, for example. or nicole kidman. or kelly preston. or this lovely person. or this one.

i have great respect for blondes. and brunettes, for that matter. but, as previously noted, my allegiance has been cast in stone: redheads rule.